The First Page Of My Diary

It's a bit late to post this. This should have been the first post of this blog. Perhaps, the zeroth (being an Electronics engineer, I start everything from zero ;). Nevertheless, I am posting it today, just to make sure that I give 'that day' it actually deserves.

2015-07-19: The day of breaking traditions 

                        Generally, people start writing a diary from the first day of a year. I certainly don’t have a very good memory, but as per I remember, a year does not start from 19^th of July. It starts from 1^st of Jan. And today is not 1^st of Jan.

But still, I am starting my diary from today.

Strange, right?

Maybe I shouldn’t start from today. Maybe today is not the right day. People don't start writing a diary from 19^th of July. 19^th of July is certainly for starting something like this. Something so important. But, is it important? I am not going to write my daily events for sure. That’s another traditional thing. People generally write those things, right? Like today my crush smiled at me, my mother scolded me, my girlfriend did not send me a message ( well, as of today, I don’t even have GF, so writing that is totally impossible ), etc etc.

Also, generally famous or popular people write diaries, so that the history can have a document to know what had happened in their so-called ‘mysterious’ lives. Another tradition. But I am certainly not a popular guy and my life never was, neither is and never will be a mystery. So again, another unusual thing.

On the very first page, I am saying that I am breaking three traditions here. Isn’t this bad? Shouldn’t we follow our traditions? Shouldn’t we obey rules? Shouldn’t we stick to the laws defined by nature? Well that’s what we are supposed to do, aren’t we? We have been always told to do so. We have been listening to this for our entire life. Least I have been.

And now I am sick of it.

I am not a superman or not even any other hero. But today, I have decided to stand up against the evil of ‘usual things’ (such a dramatic person I am). I refuse to follow any traditions. I refuse to obey those stupid rules. I don’t give a damn to the laws of nature. Coz rules are to be broken, laws are to be bent. Traditions are to be twisted.

And today, I am twisting three of them.

First, today is not the first day of the year. Well, conventionally it certainly is not. But for me, it is a day of new beginning. Today I have made some important decisions, and I certainly want to list them somewhere. And I don’t want to wait till any auspicious day or the first day of a month or a year. So that’s why I am starting now. That’s why I am hitting my keyboard so hard.

Second, I am not going to write about all my daily events. Maybe I will write about some of them. Or maybe I won’t. I am not sure if I will write daily. But this is not just a diary. I don’t know what this exactly is, but this is certainly not a diary. This is my very own way to express. I don’t want to note down boring events of my boring life (it really is very boring. But can’t help it). Neither do I want to impress somebody with this stupid stuff. No, I don’t do that. I don’t write to impress, I write to express ( yeah, I just borrowed a dialogue from a movie and twisted it a bit. I hope that the director doesn’t sue me. But I guess he will never find out ).

Third and the last, I am not a popular guy and maybe history will never take a notice of me. Maybe it will. But I don’t believe in entrusting our scripts in the hands of history. History may misplace it, or it may misinterpret it. So why to do that? Instead, let’s create the history. Destiny may have already written a script for us. Maybe it has a story in store for us. And like good puppets in the hands of destiny, we should play or parts in that story. But again, I refuse to do so. I say let's rewrite this story. Let’s challenge the destiny. Let’s not be puppets, let’s be writers and directors of our own story. Let’s live life like we want to.

So that’s why I started writing a diary ( or whatever it is ) on such an odd day and due to such odd reasons. And for the first time in many years, I am proud of myself. I really am.

But still, I did not mention the exact reason for starting such an odd thing. For that, we have to go back to the afternoon of 17^th of July, when I was telling my ‘I-am-not-sure-what-I-want-to-do’ story to my manager cum mentor, Saurabh sir. Location: Desk no. 156 ( I guess, need to check it once more ), where we had just started file bench testing of W207 and it would take about a couple of days ( and I am really very eager to see its results. If it does not go well, We’ll have to do a lot of brainstorming. That means too much of work, and a lazy guy like me prefer to avoid it. So let's pray. Seriously, pray ), and then we suddenly got into this conversation.

Me: I really don’t know what I want to do. I am confused. Job, MBA, start-up or writing? I just can't make up my mind.

Saurabh sir: don’t worry, this happens to everyone. Even I was not sure of what I wanted to do in my life. Every person has to face this situation. It's not embarrassing to be confused. You will figure out eventually, what life has planned for you and what you want to do. But take your time and make your decision wisely.

Me: ok sir. Thanks for the advice.

Saurabh sir: It's my pleasure. But don’t make a fault which I made.

Me: which, sir?

Saurabh sir: I had a guitar. I had started learning it in 11^th. And I liked it. But I failed to continue. Now even I want to do it again, I can't. This busy schedule does not allow me to do so. So, if you think that you like writing, don’t leave it. Keep writing something. May it be poems, stories, articles or anything that you want. But don’t you give up this hobby.

Me: Sure sir, I promise you. I will not give up this hobby. I will give least one shot at it.

So here I am, giving a shot at it. Trying to write something. I don’t know what, but at least, I am writing something and that is good for starters. Let's hope that main course will follow. And let's hope that it will be bigger and better and tastier.

Hope is a four letter word that gives you an infinite amount of energy. Hope is the only thing that keeps your soul inside your body. Heartbeats on the rhythm of this hope.

So let's hope this hope keeps my passion intact.

That's it for today. Gotta go. It's almost 11 pm. I need to sleep now. Have a hectic schedule for tomorrow.

Thought for the day: first I dream my paintings. And then I paint my dreams – Vincent Van Gough

Same goes with me. First I dream my poems and stories, and then I write them. Vincent Van Gough seems like we have a thing in common.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I couldn't continue writing this diary for too long. Not because interesting things didn't happen in my life, but coz too many things happened at an enormous pace. But that's another story, for another day, for another blog post ;)

Btw, please let me know if you liked this post. Also, if you have, then feel free to share it :)